When mum is feeling guilty, everyone around suffers
Dear mum, are you guilty of feeling guilty? This article is for you.
I’m not a big fan of judging emotions. They are what they are – signs to follow.
My clients often start the coaching conversation with these words: I feel so guilty… These mums oftentimes feel quilt about being at work or not working. Then others feel down because they spend an hour taking care of themselves and leave their kids with someone else.
While all the emotions are here to teach us something, I help my clients see that feeling guilty is not beneficial. Nor is it serving anyone else around. It’s a useless emotion. It doesn’t serve anyone.
Unless we call it for what it really is: a disguise for not feeling good enough.
Feeling guilty might be a disguise for not feeling good enough
What I love about life is that everything exists in polarities. This means that if we have guilt – there must be something on the other side of the spectrum.
What is the opposite of guilt for you?
(could be different for different people)
When I’m working with a client who struggles with feeling guilty, I’m helping her see that there are some things on the other side – for example, there are things to be proud of.
So let’s see – that thing about you feeling guilty – what other emotions could there be found? How could you rephrase it? What would serve you better?
For me, the opposite of being guilty is proud. I can choose to look at a certain situation and pick one or two things I feel proud about.
Imagine the last time you felt guilty about something – what can you choose to feel proud about instead?
I absolutely love discovering how powerful we are. Most of the time, it’s just a matter of perspective. And we all have the power to choose the way we look consciously.
A thought precedes every feeling
Yes, that’s right. The emotions do not overcome us by accident. We create a whole process around it.
So next time you recognize that guilt arising, watch out for those thoughts that lead you to feel something that doesn’t serve you.
When you uncover the pattern, you might want to ask yourself the question from the other side of the spectrum.
Because time and energy are the most precious commodities so let’s use them where they empower us.